The Misadventures
by Dammit Kirito
Summary: Pssst. Yeeep, youuu. Ever wanted to know who's doing the frickle frackle with Japan? Just click that thing up there and prepare to lose some brain cells. Warning: This story is really strange, I'm giving you the chance to run. May contain fangirling Germany, troll Canada and boss!Japan. Rated T for obvious reasons. May have some implied pairings. COUGH AustriaXPiano COUGH
1. Chapter 1

A/N: so I wanted to write one of these crack drabble things because I like writing stuff that doesn't make any sense. chapters will be really short and won't be elaborately written. enjoy~

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_'I hope I am not late' _thought Germany as he grabbed a net which was hanging from a hook. He ran down the stairs as fast as possible and hurried outside. Japan and Italy were waiting patiently at the door. They also had their nets with them.

"Sorry it took so long," Germany said, "I was looking for my net."

"It's ok Doitsu-san, but now we must hurry," Japan replied. The three nations hurried to a field.

Jellyfish Fields.

Germany immediately spotted a blue jellyfish, a rare jellyfish that can talk.

"Look. Over there," Germany whispered to Japan and Italy. He pointed at the jellyfish who was in the bushes. Italy's eyes widened in excitement and Japan smiled.

The three of them hid behind a bush. Germany's eyes sparkled with delight and his cheeks were pink. He went towards the bush and swiftly used his net to catch the jellyfish. "Say something," Germany said, breathing heavily.

"Fuck off," the jellyfish replied. Germany dropped his net in shock and the jellyfish swam away. He started to tear up. "Don't worry Germany! There are many more jellyfish to catch!" Italy said comfortingly.

Germany's eyes hardened and glared at his net.

"I am never jellyfishing again."

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Germany was very annoyed. More annoyed than usual. The reason? Someone messed up his house. Germany was very tired (I think the reason is obvious) and didn't feel like tidying at all. He locked his bedroom door and sulked.

Prussia knocked on Germany's door. "Oi, West, I ne-"

"OH MEIN GOTT, FUCK OFF BRUDER!" Germany shouted.

Prussia silently laughed at Germany's attitude. "Okay! Jeez, someones on their time of month! Just to tell you, Austria, Switzerland and Liechtenstein are coming over!" Prussia said.

Germany groaned. The house was still a huge mess. "But bruder, the house is a mess," Germany muttered.

"Kesesesese! I already tidied it!" Prussia replied and went off.

Germany was slightly less annoyed and got up. He left his room and went downstairs.

_DING DONG! _The door rang.

Germany sighed. He heard arguing outside. Germany opened the door and let Austria, Switzerland and Liechtenstein in. Germany shoved Austria and Switzerland in the sitting room.

"Guten tag, Mr. Germany," Liechtenstein greeted Germany.

Germany looked down at the smaller nation. And squealed. He picked up Liechtenstein and hugged her.

"SO CUTE, OH MEIN GOTT, HOW CAN ANYONE BE THIS CUTE!" Germany cried out.

"M-Mr. Germany, I c-can't b-breath!" Liechtenstein choked out.

"AWW, SHE'S EVEN CUTE WHEN SHE'S GETTING BRUTALLY MURDERED BY ME!" Germany hugged her tighter.

"MR. GERMANY STOP!"

"NEIN! I CAN'T LET GO OF SUCH A CUTE LITTLE THING!"

Prussia came down the stairs and saw Germany squeezing the life out of poor Liechtenstein.

"West, no one likes it when you go into super-ultra-fangirl mode."

The end.


	3. Chapter 3

"I look like a fucking boss!" America cried as he put on a pair of badass sunglasses. He was wearing an spy outift. And he did look like a fucking boss.

Japan put on a wavy purple wig. "Beautiful," Japan murmured as he looked in a mirror. He was wearing a purple sailor outfit. He was indeed beautiful.

"What the fuck," England said angrily as he looked in the mirror. He was wearing a pink dress that went all the way down to his feet. A curly pink wig rested on his head. And to top it all off, there was a unicorn horn on his head.

"Dude, you look like that pink pony thing from that shitty show you watch!" America laughed.

"You mean Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie isn't unicorn. Get your bloody facts right!" England retorted angrily.

"Igirisu-san, I think you look pretty. Let's go now or we'll be late." Japan said.

America and England nodded and followed Japan out of the room. They arrived in front of a room. Japan knocked three times on the door.

"Welcome to my salad party. Make yourself at home," muttered a person dressed in a cloak. Everyone in the room wore cloaks and were eating salad.

"HEY!" Japan shouted angrily. "YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A RAMEN-WITH-DRESSING-UP PARTY! FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS SHIT! YOU LYING BASTARD! AIYAH! KIDS ARE SUCH FUCKING LIARS THESE DAYS! DISHONOR ON FUCKING YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR FUCKING COW! COME ON AMERIKA-SAN AND IGIRISU-SAN! I APOLOGIZE FOR SHOUTING!"

Japan apologized a hundred times to America and England and they went back to Japan's house for some tea.

The end.


	4. Chapter 4

India sighed and shoved himself on his sofa. He was feeling depressed because his favourite Hindi soap opera was cancelled. You'd think it's just a silly little soap opera but to India, a soap opera is some serious shit. He picked up his phone and texted Bangladesh and Pakistan to come over. He told them it was a matter of life and death so they rushed over to his house.

"_Bhaiya_! Are you okay?" Bangladesh asked, concerned.

Pakistan rolled her eyes. "_Bhaiya_, stop over reacting, it's not funny!"

India burst into tears. Bangladesh comforted him while Pakistan stood there (awkwardly) annoyed.

"THEY CANCELLED MY SHOW, YAAR!" India cried out.

"Alright, will you stop crying if we watch a movie?" Pakistan asked gently.

India nodded. Pakistan turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. India's eyes brightened. "Lets watch _Jab We Met_!" said India.

"NO, I AM FUCKING SICK OF THAT MOVIE!" shouted Bangladesh angrily. "Me too!" Pakistan agreed although she was very surprised that Bangladesh cursed.

"_Aye Bhagvaan!_ Fine! Let's watch _Tere Naam_." Pakistan and Bangladesh agreed and they watched it. "I want to watch Jab We Met now, yaar!" said India.

Pakistan and Bangladesh glared at India.

"NO! WE ARE FUCKING LEAVING!"

The end.

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Translations:

Bhaiya: Brother

Yaar: Dude (I think)

Aye Bhagvaan: Oh God

And Tere Naam and Jab We Met are both popular Hindi movies although I absolutely hate Jab We Met XD


	5. Chapter 5

Italy bought a hat.

"Italy... I didn't want to say this in front of the others... but that hat makes you look like a girl," Germany said.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Italy asked hopefully.

"Oh well, erm... you-you're beautiful," said Germany awkwardly.

Italy giggled.

"How am I still friends with you two?!" Japan muttered under his breath. That question was remained unanswered forever.

The end.

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A/N: yes that is from Spongebob.


	6. Chapter 6

"Boo."

"ARGH! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"

"Sorry Prussia-san, I was practicing my ninja skills," said Japan, shrugging sheepishly.

"That wasn't very nice to the awesome me, hmph," Prussia pouted.

"I know but I do not care." Japan walked away, preparing to scare someone else.

_'That was so mean! The awesome me needs to get the unawesome Japan back!'_ Prussia thought.

~Later~

Japan was making tea while Prussia creeped up behind him. Japan noticed Prussia immediately but pretended not to notice him.

_'Kesesesese! The awesome me is going to totally scare Japan!'_

Japan turned around and tickled Prussia. "WHAT, AHAHAHAH, THE FU-AHAHAHA!"

Japan stopped tickling Prussia and took out a pair of badass sunglasses. He put them on and walked away like a fucking boss.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JAPAN! YOU ARE SO UNAWESOME!"

Japan kept walking away while an explosion happened in the background.

(⌐■_■)

The end.


	7. Chapter 7

Netherlands was so bored. He was reading romantic poems but there was a limit to how many romantic poems you can read in one day. And he didn't feel like smoking either. He aimlessly walked around his house. And then he found a mirror. He looked in the mirror.

"Are you from the Netherlands?" He asked himself as he looked in the mirror. "Because AmsterDAM!"

He laughed for ages. It's not even funny.

The end.


	8. Chapter 8

Romano and Germany were drunk. Oops.

"Heeeeeeeeeey, potato bastard, you fucking my brother?" Romano hiccuped.

Germany giggled. "Maybe? But guess what?"

"What?"

"I think youuuu," Germany poked Romano on the nose, "are fucking Spain!"

Romano blushed. "What's it to you, potato bastard... Spain is my bitch! But anyway, I bet French bastard and English bastard are fucking each other. "

"I know right?! All that hate is just unresolved sexual tension!"

Romano giggled. "Exactly! And guess what?"

"What?" Germany took potatoes out of his pocket and started eating them.

Romano looked disgusted at the potatoes. "Fucking Turkey and Greece!"

Germany choked on his potatoes. "The fuck?! I always thought it would be Japan who would be doing Greece!"

"Nooo of course not! Japan is..." Romano whispered the name of the person in Germany's ear. Germany gasped.

"THAT'S SO CUTE!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"OH MEIN GOTT! I would have never thought it would be him!" Germany shrieked.

"I know! I saw them together and it fucking ruined my childhood but at least I found out! Hey, wanna make flower crowns?"

Germany's eyes lit up. "Of course!"

They went to make flower crowns with the flowers in the garden. They looked so beautiful.

Japan went into the garden.

"Doitsu-san and Romano-san are very girlish?!"

The end.

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A/N: ahahaha I'm such a troll for not revealing Japan's lover/fuck buddy :P


	9. Chapter 9

"Do you like pancakes? Yeah I like pancakes! Do you like waffles? No, I like pancakes! Do you like french toast? No, I like pancakes!"

America glared at Canada. "Shut up Mattie, that song is so annoying!"

"DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES? YEAH I LIKE PANCAKES! DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES? NO, I LIKE PANCAKES! DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST? NO, I LIKE PANCAKES!"

America breathed in and out, trying to stay calm.

"DO YOU LIKE PANCA-"

America walked away, slamming the door as hard as he could.

"My plan worked Kuma! Now I can smoke with Tim and Al won't even know!"

The end.

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A/N: that's right bitches, that was some implied Nedcan :P and thanks so much for the reviews, they really make my day :D


	10. Chapter 10

Hungary invited Japan and France over to her house. With their cameras. Because it was that time of month again. NO NOT THAT ONE! EW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! It was that time if month where they gathered up all their yaoi pictures, you bastard. Hmph! Some people! Well anyway, they got a lot of pictures.

"Aw look at this one of England and our very own Francey-pants!" Hungary exclaimed.

"Ehehehe, can I keep that one, mon ami?" Hungary just smirked at him.

"Ah, look, Turkey and Greece! So adorable! Japan, when did you take this?"

"They were arguing and called me over. And I locked them in a room."

"Ohonhonhonhon! I am so proud of my little Japan!"

"Please refrain from ruffling my hair. Oh my, look at this one of Doitsu-san and Italia-kun. How cute!"

Hungary squeaked in delight and her nose started to bleed. "Excuse me for a second guys, heh," Hungary ran off to get a huge box of tissues.

"Ohonhonhonhon! Japan! You certainly had some fun!" France held up a picture of Japan and someone else and Japan snatched it out of his hands.

"Ah, when did you take that, erm, picture?" Japan blushed. France just winked. "Ancient French secret~!"

Hungary came back and saw the picture. And squealed. And nosebleeded. Again. "Finally! You two hooked up!"

Japan looked away. "Erm... HUNGARI-CHAN, THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE!"

Hungary and France kept teasing Japan and Japan left... with his 'special' pictures.

The end.

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A/N: I am really (not) sorry for being a troll again and not saying who Japan was with :D


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: here, have some FACE family *shoves it in your face* oh and I don't own the song, it's from ANT Farm :D

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America was eating donuts. They were good donuts.

"HEY MATTIE, HAVE SOME DONUTS WITH ME!" America yelled.

"But I'm having pancakes, and pancakes are better than donuts, eh?"

"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!"

"I think I did," Canada replied, his voice filled with _sass._

America gave a loud and dramatic gasp. And started to sing.

"_Donut make you sad, donut make you cry, when the person you love often says goodbye_," sang America.

"Bloody hell, he's singing that daft song again!"

"Come, mon cher, let us warn everyone that Alfred is singing again!"

"Oh maple," whispered Canada.

"_I'm feeling so plain, I'm feeling old fashioned, life's kind of stale, my days have no passion, there's a hole in my life._"

"Bloody hell, he could at least sing a different song!"

"_It hurts so bad, right in my sprinkle, but now I'm movin' on to better days, I'll powder my nose, I'll put on some glaze_!"

Canada was silently crying and clutching on to France and England.

"_My pain's a day old, no, I won't be a quitter, someone will love this sweet apple fritter!_"

The three suffering nations winced as America hit the high notes.

"_It feels better now...donut_?" America finished the song and everyone in the world let out a sigh of relief.

By the way, it was Canada's fault that America sang that awful song.

Wow, thanks a lot Canada.

The end.


	12. Chapter 12

"Canada, I know what we're gonna do today!" exclaimed America.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ugh, don't you get the reference?" America huffed.

"Erm...no?" Canada didn't know what America was talking about.

America rolled his eyes. "Hmph. Some people are just so uncultered."

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"Hey, where's Iggy?"

"What?"

"Curse you Canada the Country!"

"Seriously, fuck you."

"Matthieu! Please, no cursing!"

"Sorry Papa."

The end.

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A/N: I MADE A REFERENCE NO ONE WILL GET XD

it's Phineas and Ferb by the way :P


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Prupan and Ameripan, huh? Both of them are my OTPs :D (It's not South Korea or China ;)

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"Roma~!"

"Fuck off."

"Romaa~!"

"I told you, fuck off."

"ROMAA~!"

"I SAID FUCK OFF!"

"ROMAAAAAA~!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BASTARD!"

"ROMAAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

_Silence_.

"Roma~?"

"ROMAA~?"

"ROMAAA~?"

"Lovino Romano Vargas! I have tomatoes!"

"FUCKING WHERE?"

"Come here!"

"But there are no tomatoes here...?"

"I know~!"


	14. Chapter 14

Romano and Germany were drunk. Again.

"Heeeeyyy, potato bastard, here," Romano shoves tomatoes in Germany's face.

"That's not very nice, Romano!" Germany shoves potatoes in Romano's face.

Well this is bad. They seem to have started a potato/tomato throwing war.

"Ahahahaha, take that you bastard!"

"I don't think I will!"

Germany and Romano giggled. It was fucking weird.

"I don't feel like throwing stuff anymore," said Germany.

"Me neither, let's make friendship bracelets!" So they made friendship bracelets. And discussed their OTPs.

"Doitsu-san and Romano-san seem very girlish... again?!"

The end.


	15. Chapter 15

"Kesesesese!"

"Heuheuheu!"

"Kesesesese!"

"Huehuehue!"

"What the fuck"

The Awesome trio were hanging out. They had been kicked out of an Asian Sparkle party. #lol

"Kesesesesese!"

"Huehuehuehue!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" Denmark was really pissed off.

"The awesome me and Al are having a laughing contest! Kesesesese!"

"Huehuehue! Don't you have a weird laugh, Matt?"

"Hm," Denmark pondered, "I don't think so."

"Sure ya do! Huehuehu-blaha," America choked on his own spit.

Prussia patted America on his back. "Matt, you have to have a weird laugh, its not natural if you don't, it means... YOU ARE NOT AWESOME," Prussia whisper shouted the last part.

"Kay, let me try. Hehehe! Hehehe! Hehehe!"

"WHAT THE FUCK! THAT IS FUCKING SCARY!" Prussia shrieked.

America choked again. "MATT, THAT HURTS MY EARS, THE FUCK, DUDE!"

"Fuck both of you!" Denmark glared.

"You know you want to~! Kesesesese!" Prussia winked.

"Gil, Matt wants tha D! Huehuehue!"

Denmark got his axe out of... wait, where the fuck did he- wh- THE FUCK.

Prussia and America shut up immediately.

"HEHEHE!"

The end.

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A/N: what the fuck did I do

I made them so gay ._.


	16. Chapter 16

Liechtenstein was reading when suddenly, a wild Germany appeared!

"OH MEIN GOTT! SO FUCKING CUTE~!"

Liechtenstein yelped as Germany hugged her. Switzerland ran into the room and aimed his gun at Germany.

"LET GO OF HER OR I'LL SHOOT!"

Germany ran off in tears because he wasn't able to fangirl as much as he wanted to.

What a shame.

The end.

* * *

A/N: oh my god I just realized Germany is acting like a pedo

I SWEAR HE'S JUST FANGIRLING ⊙﹏⊙

PLS DON'T HURT ME


	17. Chapter 17

Russia was sad. He wanted to hang out with China but China (didn't want to) was busy. And Russia didn't want to hang out with anybody else. So, you know what he did? He went on omegle. And you know what he did on omegle? He was on the brink of divorce.

**Question to Discuss:  
Act like a married couple who are on the brink of divorce.**

**You: waifu become one with me  
Stranger: NO HUSBANDO STOP  
You: waifu get me some vodka  
Stranger: NO THAT IS TOO RUSSIAN  
You: but waifu i am russian  
Stranger: why didnt you tell me?!  
You: i did tell you stop joking and get me vodka  
Stranger: I HATE IT WHEN YOU DRINK  
You: waifu i drink because you never become one with me  
Stranger: I DONT WANT TO BE ONE WITH YOU SHUT UP AND I WONT GET YOU VODKA  
You: waifu you are so mean  
Stranger: dont call me waifu!  
You: but thats your name waifu  
Stranger: shut up you stupid russian  
You: i knew i shouldn't have married you  
Stranger: /sobs  
You: im sorry waifu  
Stranger: NO I HATE YOU**

**Stranger has disconnected.**

Russia smiled. He was a pretty good husband.

The end.

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A/N: sorry anon, that was crap but I had no idea what to do XD If you guys have a request, say what character you want and what kind of plot you want :D


	18. Chapter 18

"Today someone asked me what was so great about Switzerland. I said '_well the flag is a big plus_'," Switzerland said.

"Country puns are really funny, but this _Israeli_ lame," England grinned.

"I saw the chance so _Iran_ with it! I'm up to tell you more, if_ Europe_ to it," Switzerland tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, but _Syria-sly_?" Italy joined the conversation.

"It _Tokyo_ long enough," said Japan.

"Oui, I agree. Kenya help me for a sec?" France said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hai, Kuwait a sec?"

"Da, I'm not Russian," Russia was actually dying inside.

"I'm pretty Hungary right now, you guys got any Turkey?" Hungary giggled.

"Not too much Greece though," said Greece, who was half asleep.

"Are you guys China be funny?" America butted in.

Everyone glared at America.

Wow, good going America. -_-

"You still owe me money, aru!"

"Let's make bacon pancakes, eh?"

But nobody heard him.

Aw. How sad.

The end.

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A/N: here ya go Fruitstogether :D I am so proud of myself at the bacon pancakes thing XD

and more requests please because y'know, more chapters :D


	19. Chapter 19

"Soccer!" cried America.

"Football!" cried the rest of the world.

"Soccer," said Ireland nonchalantly.

"WHAT?!" England shouted.

"High five dude!" America cheered.

"B-but why soccer?!"

Ireland rolled her eyes. "Because, same reason as America."

"B-but-"

"NO SHUT UP I WILL SAY SOCCER IF I WANT TO!"

America was laughing.

This is too much fun.

The end.

* * *

A/N: inspired by an actual argument between me and my friend about the soccer/football thing.

Ireland and soccer ftw :D


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: this chapter is crap. gomenasai ._.

* * *

Norway was watching Frozen.

FUCK.

"_For the first time in forever~_" he sang quietly

Denmark walked in.

And walked back out.

Which is a shame, he could have suffered with me. Why am I writing this again?

Norway was still staring intently at the screen "No Anna!" he said as Anna bumped into Hans.

"STAY AWAY FROM HANS! HE BELONGS WITH ELSA! HELSA FOR LIFE!"

OMFG

I SHIP HELSA TOO

ME AND NORWAY COULD BE BEST FRIENDS

The end.


	21. Chapter 21

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

What the fuck are they doing? You may ask yourself. Here, I'll tell you: they were drunk.

Japan jumped into Italy's arms and glomped him while Italy was just making that stupid grin face he always has.

"Italia-kuun~! You are so cute~!" Japan giggled.

"No! You are cuter!"

"Noo~! You are so cute I could hug you all day!"

"Ve~! Well, you are so cute, I could kiss you all day!"

"Ney, Italia-kun, you are so cute, I could fuck you all day!"

Italy gasped. "Japan! Don't swear! After all, you are younger than me!"

"I wouldn't actually fuck you Italia-kun, and anyway I am older than you!"

Italy clamped his hand on Japan's mouth. "Ve, Japan stop swearing!"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Japan shouted but it came out as 'mnf mnf mnf'.

"JAPAN!" shrieked Italy. Japan licked Italy's hand.

"Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew, fuck you Japan, you're such a...JAPAIN in the ass," Italy wiped his hand on Japan.

"That was a very bad pun, Italia-kun," Japan said, sassily.

"I DON'T CARE! I AM ITALY!"

"Nee, Italia-kun, did you happen to hear about the chef that died?"

"Ve~ I heard he _pasta_ away!"

"Hai, we _cannoli_ do so much," Japan was trying not to giggle.

"Sí, his legacy will become a _pizza_ history."

"Here today, gone _tomato_," Japan was laughing so hard inside. Too hard. That is not safe.

"Ve, how sad that he ran out of _thyme_," Italy was loosing it now.

"Sending _olive_ my prayers to the family," Japan's face was so red at that moment.

"His wife is really upset, _cheese_ still not over it," Italy's lip was going to bleed if he didn't stop biting it to stop laughing.

"You never _sausage_ a tragic thing!" they said together. And they lost it and laughed for ages.

Japan's phone buzzed and Japan checked it. And giggled. I swear, giggling nations is so fucking scary.

"Ve, Japan, are you talking to... him?" Italy let out a snort because of all the cheesy stuff Japan was sent.

"Maybe~"

Germany walked in.

Were Italy and Japan fucking giggling?!

Well Italy he could understand, but Japan?!

Germany walked back out.

The end.

* * *

A/N: I listened to this 10 minute challenge where Japan says 'Italian-kun' (it sounded so sexual omfg) and that was my inspiration for this... don't ask

I wasn't supposed to add the Japan X secret person but I couldn't resist

huehuehuehue


	22. Chapter 22

"I wish my pony could fly," said a very sad England.

The pony flew into the sky.

"Oh!"

The pony flew into Switzerland (the land mass)

_It's a magical pony flyin' through the sky, on a magical journey for you and I!_

"Shoot it down," Switzerland (the person) told Liechtenstein.

"But big brother! He's so cute!" whispered Liechtenstein. Well actually that's her normal voice but to you and me, it sounds like a whisper.

Switzerland sighed. "Fine, but then we'll have to buy another one so this one doesn't get lonely."

The end.

* * *

A/N: asdf movie is just so awesome


	23. Chapter 23

China walked into his house. LIKE A BOSS.

He made tea. LIKE A BOSS.

He drank tea. LIKE A BOSS.

He did his hair. LIKE A BOSS.

CHINA IS MUCH BOSS.

SUCH BOSS.

VERY BOSS.

But he looks so pretty when wearing flower crowns.

Russia agrees.

The end.


	24. Chapter 24

On a roof, England talking with a baby unicorn. He had been busy with the baby unicorn for hours and now wanted nothing more than to argue with France.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden, France appeared at the door, grinning.

"Put down the baby unicorn," France said, jumping up and down. "Unless you want me to murder it."

England put down the baby unicorn. He had never seen France so evil before and it made him worried.

France picked up the baby unicorn, then withdrew a piece of cake from his pocket. "I am so angry," France said with a glint in his eyes. "An unicorn bit my ear this morning, and everything became stupid and fucked up. Now with this baby unicorn and this cake I can rule the world!"

England looked at France as if he was insane. This wasn't France

"Fight it!" England shouted. "The unicorn just wants the baby unicorn for his own evil reasons! He doesn't hate you, not the way I do!"

England could see France trembling. England hugged France. He was stupid, so stupid, but he knew only his hate for France would break the unicorn's spell.

Sure enough, France put the baby unicorn on the ground. "Oh, England," he squeaked. "I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course, you frog," England smiled fondly.

The unicorn appeared and took the baby unicorn and flew off in tears.

The end.

* * *

A/N: what the fuck

we all know England loves France


	25. Chapter 25

"We should make pancakes."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poop heads."

"No, it isn't!"

"You still don't get any of my references!"

"THEN STOP MAKING FUCKING REFERENCES, EH?!"

"I love cavorting!"

"EH?!"

"Your wife is going to be beautiful!"

"Wha-bu-huh?!"

Poor Canada is so confused. Serves him right for making America sing that awful donut song.

"Would you like to eat my candy paws?"

"I DON'T WATCH FUCKING CARTOONS!"

"MATTHIEU! NO CURSING!"

"Sorry Papa."

"Well, hornswaggle my haversack!"

"STOP IT AL, THIS IS GETTING FUCKING ANNOYING!"

Canada attempted to punch America.

"Haha, you fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!"

Canada was getting so annoyed.

"GAH! FUCK THIS SHIT! I AM LEAVING!"

"LANGUAGE!"

"I AM SORRY PAPA!"

The end.

* * *

A/N: man I love making references

bonus points if you guess where they are from


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: omg school started for me today D: so I guess updates will be slower (saddddd)

* * *

Austria was at the supermarket and he saw Switzerland.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Oh, you know, HUNTING FOR ELEPHANTS."

Oh.

Switzerland is one sarcastic bitch.

The end.


	27. Chapter 27

America and Japan were watching anime and drinking milkshakes. From McDonalds, obviously. Where else can you find such fine cuisine?

"Hey, dude, what's Boku no Pico?"

Japan did a spit take. "Uhhmm... why are you asking?"

"Oh, because someone told me to watch it," replied America.

"And who is this person who told you to watch it...?" Japan raised an eyebrow, already knowing who.

"Mattie told me!"

"Of course, and would you like to watch it?" Japan asked.

"Yeah, sure!"

Japan gave America his laptop and walked out of the door. "I'll be back... later..."

America gave Japan a thumbs up and put on Boku no Pico.

~Later~

America wanted to rip his eyeballs out and cleanse them as much as he could. "ARGH THAT WAS SO... BLARGH" America shouted.

Japan came back into the room. He was...smiling. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! THAT HURT MY BRAIN! I WANT TO FLUSH MY EYEBALLS!"

"Payback," Japan said nonchalantly.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"

"You ate all the pocky so naturally I had to get you back." Japan put on his sunglasses and walked away like a fucking boss.

"FUCK YOU, JAPAN"

Japan kept walking. Like a fucking boss.

(⌐■_■)

The end.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry

I like boss!Japan wayy too much


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: omg school sucks so bad D:

and

yes I just ripped this off from a picture I saw ._.

* * *

England suspiciously looked around before walking into an alley. There stood Seychelles. England tapped her shoulder.

"Oh, he-" Seychelles was cut off by England.

"Have you got the yaois?" England muttered to Seychelles.

"..."


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: my friend found my story and she fucking reviewed every single chapter ._.

who the fuck does that

* * *

Japan, America and England were in the park. They were playing hide and seek and America was counting.

"One...two...three..."

Japan used his magical ninja skills to turn himself invisible and England called his unicor- wait, sorry I mean _alicorn*_ and they both flew up into the sky. Like beautiful fairy princesses.

"READY OR NOT! HERE I FUCKING COME!" America yelled. He got very disapproving looks from all the mothers in the park. "Sorry!" America said sheepishly.

America look everywhere in the park. But he couldn't find England and Japan. Aw. How sad.

Meanwhile, England was flying on his unico- ALICORN and was having so much fun! Well, until his alicorn stopped. "Why did you stop?" whined England. The alicorn rolled his eyes and disappeared. "Wait! Where did you go?!"

That's when England realized he was way up in the sky. Well, this isn't going to end well. WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK (!) England screamed as he fell. He landed in a bush. And started sobbing. What a cry baby.

Japan was getting bored so he stole a bunch of paper and a pen from an unsuspecting child and drew such fabulous yaois. He was still invisible so people started to freak out when they saw the pen moving by itself. "WHAT THE FUCK IT'S A FLOATING PEN DRAWING CREEPY STUFF," shouted a random guy.

"It is called yaoi, please do not call yaoi 'creepy' or I will cut you," said Japan.

America was sulking around and heard Japan's voice. "JAPAN! DUDE WHERE ARE YOUUUU!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YAOI?!" screamed the random guy who was literally wetting himself because he didn't know where Japan's voice was coming from.

"Oh! I know what it is!" exclaimed America. "It's gay porn!" The random guy ran away because he was so creeped out and he desperately needed to change his pants.

"Amerika-san, please do not refer it as 'gay porn'. I would prefer if you called it yaoi."

England finally stopped crying and came out of the bush. "Oh, bloody hell! I give up!"

"AHAHAHA I WIN!" America grinned.

"Well, technically you haven't found me Amerika-san," Japan said in a smug voice.

"Oh yeah... fuck. Alright fine, you... win," said America sadly.

Japan used his awesome ninja magic to make himself visible again and had a smirk on his face.

England pouted and muttered a load of random words and suddenly the stray trio were wearing adorable dresses.

"The joke is on you Igirisu-san because I look so fabu." The uni- ALICORN came back and suddenly Japan and the alicorn flew away looking so beautiful. It made everyone cry, that was how beautiful it was.

I bet all of you wish you were as fabulous and beautiful as Japan but you aren't.

HAHA

The end.

* * *

*an alicorn is a unicorn that can fly. yeah I realize this is from mlp but tbh I don't give a fuck


	30. Chapter 30

America was eating those really nice donuts again. He made sure not to ask Canada if he wanted any,

"Hey, Al, guess what?" Canada said with a smile on his face.

"What"

"PANCAKES ARE BETTER THAN DONUTS!"

America's eyes filled with tears. And then he remembered. He was _beautiful_. America did such a beautiful hair flip.

"Well, you know what? I _DONUT_ CARE!"

"Al... you give me the _crepes_."

"I'm getting tired of this _hole_ thing. Please _donut_ break my heart anymore," America wiped away fake tears.

"..."

Canada was tired of America's shit. So he left.

The end.


	31. Chapter 31

**_Doitsu._**

The reason we _live_, the reason we **breathe**.

The _un-explainable_ beauty of **_Doitsu_**, the _beauty_ we **crave** to have.

His _kindness_, the kindness that **everyone** needs in their life.

Without _**Doitsu**_, we _simply_ **cannot** go on.

His _perfect_ blond hair, **shining** in the sunlight.

His **striking** blue eyes, you could stare at them _all day_.

There are no words to describe _**Doitsu**_, simply because _**Doitsu**_ is too perfect.

_My children,_ remember: Shine bright like a Doit- **MY ANACONDA DON'T**


	32. Chapter 32

England was sipping his tea, reading Harry Potter. He was still upset that he didn't get his Hogwarts letter yet. France sneakily walked into the room and whispered into England's ear.

**"GAY PORN!"**

England jumped out of his seat. His tea spilled everywhere, even on his book. _His precious book._

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU BLOODY FROG!"

France giggled and ran away.

The end.


	33. Chapter 33

Japan was on tumblr, minding his own business, when suddenly, he gained a new follower called 'hello-panda-aru'. This 'hello-panda-aru' person seemed really suspicious. And then this happened:

**hello-panada-aru asked you:**

**AY NIHON HOW DOES THIS WORK ARU CAN YOU HEAR ME**

Japan is so done right now.

The end.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: this chapter is dedicated to someone who is not nice anymore. may she lead a happy life and fuck herself.

"Oh maple! I'm so angry!" Canada whispered furiously.

"Dude! Just let it all out! No one will judge!" America grinned.

"Alright..." Canada hesitated. "FUCK THIS SHIT, I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW, WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID AND MEAN! FUCK THEM! FUCK HOCKE- WAIT SORRY I LOVE HOCKEY STICKS! I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE SO FUCKING MUCH WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST NOT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE! ARRRGH! THEY CAN FUCK THEMSELVES WITH RAKES!11!eleven!111onety one!11!"

America fell over. "I have witnessed the final form." America rocked himself back and forth in a corner, tears streaming down his face. "So scary...!"

The end


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: inspired by some episode of Zack and Cody

* * *

France and England were playing dress up. Don't ask. France looked like Napoleon and England was wearing a wizard outfit and was reading a Harry Potter book. France was filing his nails.

"Why are you filing your nails, frog?"

"I am wolverine," France replied casually.

"What the bloody hell."

"Personally, the Harry Potter ending disappointed me," France commented.

"And would you explain why?"

"Well, I was rooting for Dramione," France was still filing his nails.

"But Draco and Hermione hate each other!"

"Don't we hate each other?"

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" England yelled.

"You very well know what that means, mon cher," France smirked.

"NO, I DON'T!" snapped England.

"Dramione for life," France murmured under his breath.

"Shut up, Napoleon!"

"I AM WOLVERINE!"

The end.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: probably the best request I've gotten :D

* * *

Japan was walking around the mansion (seriously a bad idea). He was so bored because being scared all the time is boring, especially if you are so badass like Japan. Japan was thinking deeply... probably about hentai or yaoi or something. Japan was so deep in thought that he almost didn't notice... the thing. Almost.

Japan was so tired of Steve's shit. Killing all his friends isn't very nice at all. So Japan just glared at Steve.

Steve was immediately killed because he was so depressed that senpai was angry at him, meanwhile Japan put on his badass sunglasses.

Japan walked away like a fucking boss while an explosion happened in the background.

(⌐■_■)

The end


	37. Chapter 37

Austria looked around suspiciously and locked himself into a room. His eyes fell upon the most beautiful thing ever. You'd think it was a picture of Hungary but it was actually...

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THE PIANO! :D

You gasp before falling over! A piano?! What?!

Unfortunately, this is the sad truth.

That Austria was going to jerk off to a piano.

Wow.

He's _really_ desperate.

The end.


	38. Chapter 38

The Nordics were hanging out, not willingly, of course. Denmark kidnapped had the others. *creepy music*

"Hey, there's nothing creepy about kidnapping your own friends!" Denmark glared at me. "Um, thanks for breaking the fourth wall, dumbass," I reply sassily.

Denmark folded his arms and ignored me. Hmph, whatever.

"Guys! There are 87 days till Christmas!" Finland exclaimed.

Everyone froze. Finland is going to bring up Christmas... again.

"Um... I need to go... to the bathroom," Iceland muttered before fleeing out of the room. That was a lie. Obviously Iceland wasn't going to the bathroom! He went before, ahahah. He was probably going to stalk Hong Kong's tumblr, because that's what you do when you like someone! ...Right?!

"Christmas?!" said Finland.

"Um... I need to go to a hair dressing appointment... um bye," Norway jumped out of a window.

"CHRISTMAS?!"

Denmark sighed. He just wanted to spend some time with the others but Finland just had to bring up Christmas. So he jumped out of the window and went wherever Norway went.

Sweden shrugged and dragged Finland away to make really early Christmas cookies.

The end


	39. Chapter 39

Sealand and Wy were randomly walking around eating ice cream.

"Ice cream is the best!" Sealand exclaimed. Wy sighed and took his ice cream before throwing it on the ground. Sealand gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Wy didn't reply. Sealand fell to the ground, his eyes glistening with tears. He picked up the ice cream and clutched it tightly. Well, as tightly as he could anyway. "WHY! THE ICE CREAM DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DO Y-YOU... MEANIE MURDERER!"

"S-Sealand..." said the ice cream. Sealand gasped. "Sealand... r-revenge..." The ice cream died and Sealand cried.

The end

* * *

A/N: *whispers* did Wy seriously get jealous because of an ice cream?


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: this chapter is probably some kind of AU where Germany is a teenager. yay.

* * *

Teenage Germany came out of his room looking... different. His hair had black streaks and he was wearing eyeliner which was totally for boys. Totally.

"WEST!"

"What is it, bruder?" Germany sighed.

"WHATCHA WANT FOR DINNER?!"

Germany sighed. "Whatever."

"WURST AND POTATOES IT IS!"

"Wurst and potatoes are too mainstream."

"WHAT"

Germany sighed yet again.

"WEST COME HERE!"

Germany huffed in annoyance.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?!"

"It's not a phase, bruder. It's who I really am."

"WHAT"

Germany rolled his eyes. "Bruder, you are so embarrassing." Germany went back to his room and watched hardcore shows like "My Little Pony" and wrote smutty fanfictions about One Direction.

The end


	41. Chapter 41

Italy giggled madly as he chased Germany all around his house. Germany was terrified as fuck.

"Heheehh! I fucking love pasta!" Italy shouted. "Heheheheeh will I turn into Russia if I drink vodkaaa?!"

Germany was seriously creeped out.

"OMG! Ahahaahaahahaahaa will I turn Into Germanyyyyy if I have beeeer?!" Italy kept running after Germany. Germany was literally pissing his pants, I'm not kidding.

"CATS! I FUCKING LOVE CATS! SO FUCKING CUTE! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

That's when Germany remembered. Mother Ukraine's wise words: JUST SHOW THEM YOUR BOOBS. Germany took off his shirt in slow motion while the background changed into sparkles. Italy froze and gasped.

"LORD DOITSU HAS NOTICE MEEEEEE~!" Italy whispered frantically.

Germany didn't know what the fuck Italy was talking about. He shrugged and walked away to get some potatoes or whatever Germans eat. Do Germans even eat? Or are they just fueled by their hardcore-ness?

*whispers* We may never know.

The end.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: Neopets is probably the worst thing ever. don't make one. seriously, I am warning you

* * *

America was derping around the internet when he saw it.

It.

America screamed. It had come to haunt him! America sobbed and curled up into a ball. It was time.

You may be asking, what the fuck am I talking about? Well... NEOPETS. America was sure his neopets had all died (because America never fed them) and now they wanted revenge.

America went on Neopets and logged into his account. And he pissed himself. What the fuck. They were all ghosts. America screamed and frantically dialled Canada's number.

"MATTIE MATTIE THEY'RE GONNE KILL MEE!"

"No, Alfred, STOP." Canada hung up and America screamed again. And then he remembered. His neopets weren't dead! They were just painted ghost colour! Or were they...? America laughed weakly yet maniacally at the same time and ran all the way to Canada's house and stole all his ice cream.

The end.


	43. Chapter 43

China was rearranging all his Hello Kitties. Damn, he had a LOT of Hello Kitties. He put a tiny plushie on the top. Perfect. That's when France jumped out of the perfect pile of Hello Kitties.

**"GAY PORN!" **

China screamed girlishly, like a man. "AIYAH! I WILL STICK MY CHOPSTICKS UP YOUR NOSE! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY HELLO KITTY SUMMONING RITUAL I WILL SACRIFICE YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR TO THE LEADER OF FABULOUS PANDAS!" China then proceeded to throw rice he had found in his pockets at France.

The rice was completely unnecessary.

France just giggled madly and ran away.

The end.


	44. Chapter 44

It was karaoke night for the Nordics.

The day everyone dreaded.

"I wanna go first!" Denmark shouted. Everyone else sighed, knowing exactly what will happen next.

Denmark selected his song. "EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!"

Norway decided he was done with Denmark's shit so he used his powers of Norwegia to destroy everything.

Thank Thor. May Denmark never sing that awful song again.

The end


	45. Chapter 45

"England, England, England."

"WHAT. IS. IT. CANADA," England glared.

"Here. I hope you like it, eh." Canada gave England a pair of tweezers.

"FUCK YOU I'LL POO ON YOUR MUM!"

"Is tha-"

"YES NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU TWAT YOU'RE WORSE THAN YOUR BROTHER!"


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: I don't have problems._ I swear._

* * *

Liechtenstein put a hairband on her big brother. Perfect! Switzerland looks so pretty! His eyes were covered in eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and... glitter. Blush covered his cheeks and his _pouty_ lips were a pale pink colour. "Bruder, where did you put the dress?" Liechtenstein asked sweetly. Switzerland tried not to grumble as he took the beautiful dress out of a closet. "Go put it on, bruder!"

Switzerland did what he was told and put the dress on. Liechtenstein smirked inwardly. "Alright, bruder, I am done now! Lets go downstairs and have that picnic, yes?" Her green eyes sparkled innocently. She took his hand and led him out side. Liechtenstein secretly gave a signal to Hungary who was sitting in a bush. Hungary then gave the signal to Seychelles and Taiwan. They all furiously took pictures of Switzerland. He looked so uke and adorable, perfect for their yaoi blog (cross dressing China was trending!). Liechtenstein giggled. Today was a good day!

The end (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	47. Chapter 47

"A-G-L-E-T, AGLET DON'T FORGET ITTT! GETS US ALL UP ON OUR FEET, YEAH YEAH YEAAHH!" Germany screamed.

"WEST! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO BED OR I WILL TAKE YOUR EYELINER AWAY FROM YOU!"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK BRUDER! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! A-G-L-E-T, AGLE-"

BANG! Germany's singing was cut off by the door. Prussia walked in, breathing heavily, annoyed as fuck. Prussia glared at Germany and took his eyeliner.

"I hope you learned your lesson, West. I will give you your eyeliner back if you apologise for singing at 2 AM in the morning."

Germany sighed.

Why must Prussia be so embarrassing.

The end


	48. Chapter 48

Japan was reading hard core yaoi when suddenly he heard noises outside. Very strange noises so he decided to go outside and investigate.

_"America wants to battle!" _

"China! I choose you!"

"And I chose you, West!"

What the absolute fuck.

"China, use wok!"

_"China used wok and Germany lost half of his HP!"_

"Agh! Germany use beer attack!"

_"Germany used beer attack! He threw a bunch of beer bottles in random directions!"_

"China, block it! And then use chopsticks!"

_"China blocked beer attack and stuck his chopsticks up Germany's nose! It was super effective!"_

Prussia groaned in frustration and Germany was crying. "Bruder, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home." Germany walked away.

_"Germany is unable to battle! China is the winner!"_

_"Germany has been defeated! The winner is America, from America!"_

...

Japan was dumbfounded. What the fuck just happened. How dare they disrespect the fine art of Pokemon battling!

The end.


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: so apparently Prussia's going to disappear for real

...

let it sink in

...

no one will judge if you cry, we're all friends here

we'll all cry together

* * *

"Heyy, hey, Germany, hey, Germany, heyy"

Germany glared at Italy. "What?" Germany said, irritated.

"No matter how many times you tell yourself, you aren't straight!" Italy said in a very serious voice.

He then ran away in a fit of giggles.

Germany closed his eyes. Unfortunately, Italy was right. He really wasn't straight. And he couldn't do anything a out it. Germany sighed before doing whatever Germans do. _Being hardcore._

The end.


	50. Chapter 50

"Will anybody judge me if I told them I worship maple syrup?" Canada whispered to nobody in particular. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Canada.

"What the fuck," said just about everyone in the room.

"Guys, I was just kidding!"

But nobody heard him.

The end


	51. Chapter 51

"i'M sO cUTE!" France squeaked.

"Why the fuck are you talking like that?!" England glared at France.

"taLki NG LiEk wHaT?" France said innocently.

"Like that!"

"i hve NO IDea wHAT yoU'rE taLKiNg abOUT!"

England sighed, there was no point in arguing with France. So England shoved a scone in France's mouth and France choked.

The end


	52. Chapter 52

"Heyy! Kiku! Isn't Attack on Titan the new Pokemon or something?"

Japan froze. What?! WHAT?! Japan turned around and gave the person a fabulous senpai glare.

The person never fully recovered after that.

The end


End file.
